Goodbye My Little Man

[Patrycja]

Lowkey left this world on April 17th around 9PM. We were out on the balcony and he was on the dinner tray looking over the rail when he started meowing. We look and he tries to climb down my husbands shoulder and then he just falls to the floor. We scoop him up and set him in my husbands lap and he is so disoriented. He starts to raise one arm as if his tendon is too short, lips tight against his teeth. I almost ran out the door with him with just my nightie and underwear but my husband stopped me. We get to the emergency vet and the vet wants to do blood work and to see if he has fluid in his.stomach. An hour later he sits with us and doesn't have good news. His red blood count is 18, down from 23 a few days prior which my vet could not diagnose after keeping him overnight. Lowkey also had an obstruction in his abdomen and 4% blood in his stomach. After crying my eyes out we decide it's his time. The vet called around 10:30 to let me know the results of the autopsy and he had FIP. That was my first experience with euthanasia and it was horrifying. Hearing him cry before they brought him in was gut wrenching. The way he crawled to our hands with only three legs because the other had the iv in it broke my heart. The vet asked if we wanted a minute alone and of course I said yes. It felt like ten seconds before he came back in. He explained how it worked and we started the process. First he gets put to sleep and i hold my breath. Then the fluid that kills get pushed into the iv and I wanted to scream. The vet left and I started sobbing and apologizing to his now lifeless body. When I would pet him it seemed like he was still breathing so I would stop and then start again. He was so little. Looking back at his first picture and looking at the most recent, you couldn't tell if he had grown. God I loved you so much and I will miss you. I know I have my other two amazing cats but the apartment feels so empty. I burst in to tears if my mind isn't busy. I will never forget you and I promise to bury your ashes somewhere nice when we move to Maryland.

I will upload his most recent photos once I get home. I cried through this entire post.

 

[Wyldthingz]

FIP is a hateful disease. Euthanizing him was the kind thing to do. I am sorry you had to do it. I am doing the majority of my clinical hospital training in ICU and critical care and I wish people had it so good - just to go in peace. You did the right thing.

 

[Pam Flachs]

Patryjca, I am so deeply sorry. Your post made me cry...take comfort that Lowkey had a wonderful life with you, and that you did all you could to make his life special. I enjoyed reading about him and your pics of the little guy. RIP, Lowkey.

 

[Ashley]

Now I'm crying.

I'm so sorry to hear about Lowkey. We lost our deaf Catahoula mix, Chloe, the day after Christmas & it was heartbreaking. Nothing can prepare you for the death of someone that you've loved for so long.

::Hugs::

 

[Julie]

Aww hugs. Its so sad to read this after all you went through with on of the other kittens you'd gotten for your mom if I remember right. I'm so sorry for your loss of your little one.

 

[Kronos]

I know you only had him for a shot while, but he was given the most love and the best chance at life any kitten could have asked for. I am sure he is in kitty heaven right now thanking you for everything you have done.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[admin]

Patrycja, I am so sorry! Hard to think of what to say at a time like this. Your post made me cry as well...at least you did not let him suffer and you can take solace in that...we were lucky to be able to share Lowkey with you and will miss your posts and pictures

 

[Jacq]

I'm sitting here crying my eyes out. I am SO sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boy.

 

[Per Lausund]

Sad, sad, sad.

 

[Trish Allearz]

I am so shocked and saddened by your loss, Patrycja FIP is a horrible, horrible disease and letting him go was the right thing to do... I also personally feel that you did the right thing by being there with him- regardless of how hard it is for us, I think that it's important for us to be there for our little ones when they leave this world if possible. I think you gave him comfort and love- and that's what he needed...

"They say memories are golden,
Well, maybe this is true;
I never wanted memories-
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you-
You never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death, I love you still;
In my heart, you hold a place
No one could ever fill.

Since you'll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today;
A hallowed place within my heart
In which you'll always stay.

If tears could build a stairway
And heartache make a lane;
I'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you home again.

Our family chain is broken
And nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again."

~ AUTHOR UNKNOWN