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What would you ask your cat if it could speak your language?

WitchyWoman

Admin
Staff member
I would want to know why:

they are compelled to clean their butt near my face;
they whine to play and then sit like a lump watching me fling the feather wand or run up and down the hall playing fetch with myself;
do they need to sleep under the covers when they have a fur coat;
all 3 stuff themselves in the smallest cat bed to nap.
 

Pam Flachs

Savannah Super Cat
I want to know why they think every bag I bring home contains something edible or something new to play with...for them. Sometimes those bags contain bread, or butter, or bananas and a bottle of wine.

I want to know why they think I am incapable of taking a shower or using the toilet without a gaping, needy audience? Heaven knows, I do not flaunt this 56 year old body like I did 20 or 30 years ago. I don't appreciate scorn and sneers from the peanut gallery. AND, I do not need my F3 girl to perch on my shoulder or behind me on the throne and swipe her paw down my...you know. Toilet paper works just fine, thank you very much.
 

Mischief

Savannah Super Cat
I would ask Whiskey why she waits til I'm in bed (which is about 11:30 or 12 midnight because I work 11 to 7) to run around and play. And I would also ask her about her plane ride to NJ and if she was aware of how excited I was to finally meet her and if she knows how spoiled she is. (I walk around my apt all the time and go "Oh favored one" to her and one time, Mischief thought I was talking to him).
 

Pam Flachs

Savannah Super Cat
I would ask Whiskey why she waits til I'm in bed (which is about 11:30 or 12 midnight because I work 11 to 7) to run around and play. And I would also ask her about her plane ride to NJ and if she was aware of how excited I was to finally meet her and if she knows how spoiled she is. (I walk around my apt all the time and go "Oh favored one" to her and one time, Mischief thought I was talking to him).

Lol! "Oh favored one"...I love it!
 

SV Dad

Savannah Super Cat
I would want to know why:
they whine to play and then sit like a lump watching me fling the feather wand or run up and down the hall playing fetch with myself;
We've been over this before. Stupid human tricks, remember?:rolleyes:
 

SV Dad

Savannah Super Cat
I would ask.....
If you have to puke, could you please not hit carpeting, bedspreads, clothes, keyboards, or shoes? We really would prefer barfing on the tile.:uh oh:
 

WitchyWoman

Admin
Staff member
We've been over this before. Stupid human tricks, remember?:rolleyes:
Well geez RD, the operant word is "stupid" and yet you castigate me when when I display the talent. You're just jealous. (didja have to look up the definition of castigate?)
 

NikkiA

Site Supporter
Dear Mickey,
Why do you have to eat everything that fits in your mouth?
That button could not possibly have tasted good.
Jarvis, why exactly do you have to get under the covers with me at night?
And Jarvis, why do you keep opening the cabinet under the kitchen sink? You know there isn't any food under there buddy.
 
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