14wk male F2B aggressive adaptation to new home

[whitekickboxing]

Hey Kevin,

Boy do I feel for you. I know that feeling of wanting to love the kitty sooo very much and they hide or hiss or just run when you enter the room, under something. I have bad news and good news. First the bad news is my F2 was exactly the same way. I could not get near her! She ran under the bed and simply just stayed there, wouldn't let me touch her and it was so very frustrating. She hissed often and backed up and ran always. The good news is that now: She sits on my lap while I watch TV forever, she rubs up against me for pets and purrs louder that any cat I have ever had,wants to play forever with me and she even let's me wrap her around my neck (only for about 30 seconds, but I am working on that one!) Point is, it took a long time to get here. It took me literally about 3-4 months. Here is how I did it, and I also got alot of help from the breeder and this forum.

I sequestered her in the bedroom. Like Bridgette said, I literally just sat on the floor with a wand toy. I think the reading to them is a good idea too, although I never did that. I slowly ran the toy back and forth along the floor, along the bed, ect. She would peek out but not come out. I would sit in there for sometimes up to an hour twice a day doing that. After about 2-3 weeks, she eventually couldn't stand it and started batting at it from under the bed. We did that drill for about 2 more weeks. I also ran it across my legs while on the floor and she HAD to come across them to get the feather. This took awhile for her to even want to get that close to me, but she did. And when she did, I would gently reach out and touch her as she fled by. I just kept at it. Then eventually I tried picking her up as she was out and about playing. She would run and did NOT want to be caught or held. So I didn't force her, I just gently did get to her occasionally, picked her up, for about 5-10 seconds and as soon as she started squirming I let her down, but placed her down, didn't let her jump down. This also happened over a period of time.

Eventually, she got to the point where she trusted me. I think with these higher % kittys, they have to chose you on their terms and time. Being around them and not forcing them is what worked for me. Those that are in my house that do not spend time with her, to this day, and only want to pet her, she won't give them the time of day.

This whole process took about 4 months of really gentle play, time spent and not forcing her to do anything she wasn't ready for. I have had her since August ~ and now she is (almost) like a regular cat with me. She still doesn't like to be held alot, but really will sit with me and will play all day long with me as long as I will play! Just have patience, it will come! Good Luck!

 

[schlieperk]

Great advice everyone. The best part is hearing others' stories. It puts my heart at east to know that it's just going to take time and that we WILL get there.

I have ordered the Halo and Whole Life treats, so we'll see how that goes.

Update on our progress: I got "Da Bird" toy and it has really brought him out of his shell. HE LOVES IT! He just plays and plays and plays. We've broken it twice! I would say his hissing is down about 60%. I have not tried to touch him as I needed a good day too. We'll work on it more today, but the progress and his quality of life seem to improved dramatically with his new toy. I'm going to try to feed him with a spoon later and see how that goes.

Keep the advice and "war stories" coming. It is all very reassuring!

 

[whitekickboxing]

Um, I think we are on about our 8th or 9th Da Bird!!!

 

[Brigitte Cowell]

Great advice everyone. The best part is hearing others' stories. It puts my heart at east to know that it's just going to take time and that we WILL get there.

I have ordered the Halo and Whole Life treats, so we'll see how that goes.

Update on our progress: I got "Da Bird" toy and it has really brought him out of his shell. HE LOVES IT! He just plays and plays and plays. We've broken it twice! I would say his hissing is down about 60%. I have not tried to touch him as I needed a good day too. We'll work on it more today, but the progress and his quality of life seem to improved dramatically with his new toy. I'm going to try to feed him with a spoon later and see how that goes.

Keep the advice and "war stories" coming. It is all very reassuring!

That is great to hear, finding the right toy can really be key to progress! The moment he can be playing energetically, he's not just having fun he's expending the nervous energy that is inside that has kept him anxious and hissy and reactive. So you are getting rid of the bad energy whilst forging the bond that good interactive play will do... it's all-round positive and I am sure this is the beginning of a new era for you and your kitten

 

[Brigitte Cowell]

Um, I think we are on about our 8th or 9th Da Bird!!!

And luckily you can just purchase the replacement feathers for it...or do you mean the whole wand toy?

 

[schlieperk]

No, the string broke where it attatches to the actual toy. I just keep tying it back on, but not without upsetting him as I have to take the "bird" away from him before he actually kills it!

 

[whitekickboxing]

And luckily you can just purchase the replacement feathers for it...or do you mean the whole wand toy?

Yes, the replacement! Although we have broken quite a few strings that I have tried to repair. They eventually break in the same spot repeatedly too, so now I have a bunch of wands! But she also loves the sparkly other dangle option that you can buy, almost as much as the feather!

Oh and the other thing she adores is the tunnel. It's about 5' on the floor and mesh: I cover it partially with a little blanket. When a feather is really ruined, I stick it through the holes and it attaches itself to the top of the inside of the tunnel. She goes nuts on it! It's an easy way to give her something that keeps her busy for awhile!

 

[Brigitte Cowell]

If the string is the problem, try the metpet.com version that is a wire with chain and feathers... you can make the feathers sail through the air similarly, and the feathers are replaceable but it is wire and chain instead of a cord...
http://metpet.com/shopsite_sc/store/html/airspin_moreinfo.html

 

[whitekickboxing]

Cool, thanks for the link I didn't know that they could come with a wire like that!

 

[schlieperk]

So, it's been about a week and I figure I owe all of you helpful folks an update. Of course, I'll include some thought provoking questions as well.

Diego has shown some progress over the last week, but we're moving at a snail's pace. I still have him sequestered to our "gym room" but I sleep in the room with him every night. Most of my free time is spent in the room with him. He plays willingly and will even run across my legs at times. Occasionally, when he is very enthralled by the toy, I can get away with running my hand down his back. This sometimes warrants a hiss, other times he stops playing and looks at me with a WTF expression and others, he just keeps playing.

I have managed to get him to accept the occasional piece of freeze-dried chicken from my finger tips. (Not without several preceeding hisses though) other times, he will not approach me. When I feed him, he sits next to me and eats away, but usally hisses on his way up to the bowl. (Just to remind me that he's serious about his chow)

I've given him a floor to ceiling cat tree which he loves to climb, scratch and sleep on. The downside is that if I approach it while he is in it, my approach illicits large amounts of hissing and spitting until I back off.

Interestingly, most mornings I awake to him napping under a small chair right next to me. A good sign I think, but still even in his drowsy state, he will not allow my hand to touch him. He gets worked up very quickly. One morning while I was sleeping away, I awoke to a loud slap. It was the sound of a well placed paw slapping the pillow right next to my face. Can you believe it? We need to work on his manners. (Who knows, maybe I was snoring and keeping him awake

So, I am curious for those of you that have been through this. What has your timeline been from this stage to normalcy? Can I expect to be petting him in a week? A month? Longer?

I assume this process is habituation or dissasociation from a fear inducing protagonist. (Apparently a new human in his life is the protagonist). I am just trying to figure out how long the dissasociation typically takes for a 15 week old F2 that seemed just fine at the breeders'.

The other question I have is: at what point did you begin to introduce other pets to the fear-based aggresive kitten? I let him see my sweetheart chartreaux today and he had less aggression directed at her than he does towards me (the guy he's been living in close quarters with for 3 weeks). I wonder if I should include my other cats as part of his therapy?