Feliway Diffusers

[WitchyWoman]

To add onto what Kristin said, Mary should also consider Reiki for herself. She can be stuck in a self perpetuating cycle with the cat based on frustration, fear of the future, fear of the kitten. Stress wears us down and finding an outlet for it can help the relationship between both human and cat.

 

[Eddies]

Buddy (YES...adopted... Mastiff) had problems relaxing, not with the cats but with my <3 King George... another Mastiff; Buddy had a problematic past & he was stabbed by a human after being attacked by that humans dog but it was video taped & you could see the guy telling his dog to "Get it", people can be sick...so we went together for Reiki sessions, it worked for Buddy, & his new owner (who apparently was nervous about the 2 Mastiffs not being friends ... had it not worked we would have done the age old separate rooms/ different times for the dogs...Last ditch effort for us, last chance for Buddy because the rescue was ready to make him a permanent foster where he lives the rest of his life in a kennel, he had been adopted out x3 before us... the third time resulting in the dead dog. We have had him a year & 1 month now.

 

[Snookie]

You're probably tired of hearing us say "time and patience" but that is what it will take to help this poor baby. And "time" can mean years. Your friend needs to decide if she wants to spend the time it will take with no guarantee that the cat will ever be what she may wish for. There will be improvement but how much and if it will be enough for your friend is the big question.

It will take sleeping in the room with the cat; sitting in the room quietly, talking quietly to the cat; slow baby steps forward with giant leaps backward. Building trust with an animal that is afraid and lacks confidence is a big challenge. I can't remember if there's another cat in the house. Getting the cat a well-socialized and calm companion may be the key that unlocks that fortress of fear. It doesn't have to be a savannah but it does need to be a confident cat.

These stories of people who breed cats without regard for their well-being makes me furious. I consider them backyard breeders, not true breeders.

No Im not tired of hearing any of this. Shes really doing a fabulous job. She has slept with the cat in the room, and no there are no other pets. Funny you talk about speaking quietly to the cat and so on because Mary is a nurse and shes a very compassionate person and a very patient person, calm, loving, caring. And yes I would consider this a backyard breeder. Selfish people who have no regard to anything, other than their pockets. Just breed them, and then ignore then, till the time comes they can go home. Mary has had many a sleepless night over this. She did not deserve this. But Im glad Athena is with her because she couldnt be in a better home.

 

[NikkiA]

Tell her to hang in there, from us. Cats that have been neglected or not properly socialized are tough to crack, and if the poor baby is naturally a bit nervous ( like my Jarvis) it is even tougher.

Our boy Jarvis was not neglected, just nervy and sent home too young. It sounds like your friend's cat is in a worse place than our baby was.

Ask as many questions as you or she need, happy to help any way we can. As a frame of reference, Jarvis lashed out, biting and scratching me, for several months after he came home out of fear of me. Once we got a handle on that, and figured out why he was doing it, we made great inroads, but also as mentioned by others, Mickey, our youngest boy, was the key that unlocked Jarvis- a confident, happy little kitten that was more likely to climb me or take a nap in my arms than run or lash out in fear. In many ways, Mickey was Jarvis "aha" moment, and in many others, the catalyst for the "aha" moment.

 

[Trish Allearz]

Look. I'm stepping in as a forum mod. Mary needs to either step in and join the forum for advice or not, but I would like to ask you to move on from Mary's story. I know you are frustrated for your friend, but I can guarantee we are more frustrated that there is valid advice on this board that is not being followed and we are going through an intermediary to give advice aka you.

This breed is not high strung. It is not full of nervous energy. It is a breed of felines-- all very much individuals as is-- with basic breed traits which tend to fall across the board. Mischievous, intelligent, funny, active-- those are breed traits. Not high strung. Not nervous. That is an abnormality.

If Mary is that worried-- she needs to sign on and post. I do believe Paige has stated this before, but I'm being more blunt. We can't help going through you.


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