sbt kitten versus the average cat

[Bekki]

I had a panic attack over all the stuff going on in my life. I feel like I am absolutey in need of a cat. I work opposite shift from my boyfriend for the past month I've been pretty much alone. we were supposed to do this backpacking trip this year and we've both got our hearts set on it. Except I feel like I'm not ready and he's so determined he may just go without me and leave me to pay the bills by myself. I've been a nervous wreck because of a family memeber in the hospital. And I just wish I had that future kitty by my side to make me feel better. I know I'm going to register as an emotional support animal my doctor actually recommended it. Unfortunately my buns don't want anything to do with me when I'm sad or anxious I just seem to make them anxious. I feel like that should be top priority that everything would work out once I have that companion to help keep me level. What do you think. This is so hard. And I'm alert if this is too personal


"Those who wander aren't always lost"

 

[Brigitte Cowell]

I can understand feeling that a cat will help you emotionally, I know how much my cats help me when I am upset and distraught... they are amazing support and I think definitely qualify as an emotional support animal.

It sounds like the backpacking trip is a LOT ...and frankly if you don't feel up to it, it would likely be better if you tried to cancel. Or delay for a year. I know it may be hard if you have been planning it, but that kind of trip sounds like a hard trip not a relaxing on the beach kind of thing where you just need to get yourself to the airport and all is well thing... But is being "left with the bills" going to be any easier? Not quite sure what that means...

 

[Bekki]

Well if he is as stubborn as he can be he may just go without me. Currently he is splitting bills with me. And I am not making as much as I was before he moved in so of would be rough on my own. and obviously the end of our 5 year relationship of he isn't understanding enough to hold off for a year. If I had one more year I could save what I need to and focus more on strength training. I have lost 50lbs thus far and half 50 to go to my ultimate goal. I need to build my strength because I have lose muscle while dieting. If I got my savannah now I would have that emotional support that I need so much and that companion to keep me busy. keep movin and playing and being active. I guess the cat would be my workout buddy of sorts. and of necessary I could just section hike the trail that way I wouldn't be away from home too long, would be less expensive of a trip and if the personality is right I might be willing to take the savannah with me for a section hike not as long more laid back only if the cat adapts well to camping and leash training which I can't bank on. I would never want to just leave he/she for six months but I wouldn't want to drag them along for something that they don't enjoy doing for 6 months either. And if I waited until after the trip ill continue having stress issues and panic Attacks. It's a tough decision. It's like adoption for a child you want to make sure your living situation is stable that long term thick and thin everything has been thought through and I know deep down in my heart it's the right time and right situation for a loving life long home. this isn't just an impulse buy. this is a best friend in the making


"Those who wander aren't always lost"

 

[WitchyWoman]

Bekki …. forgive me but I've got to play devil's advocate. Your life seems to be in a bit of turmoil and you seem think that a cat will help center you and give you the emotional support you need. I believe you said Sebastian was 5 yrs old? If I remembered correctly, you'll have a cat who has been taken from a long term home and placed in an environment that is totally foreign. He may take a long time to adjust. If that does happen, it could take a lot of work and add a lot of stress on your already stressful situation. And when you take into consideration that animals are excellent at picking up on the stress of humans, and you have a stressed animal, well, I don't see that as good for either human or cat. And if you did decide to do the entire trail this year, the cat is subjected to what? Who takes care of him when you're gone? Would it be at your house or would he again be moved to a new environment? Do you have a reliable petsitter in mind and would that person expect to be paid? I really think it's unreasonable to hope that the cat will take to hiking/backpacking. If he could be gradually eased into it, maybe.

And if you're worried about finances, why add to the issue? Cat food, litter, potential for vet bills. Maybe you should take a step back, resolve the trail issue, resolve the boyfriend issue, stabilize your finances.

 

[Bekki]

He is 1 year old and exactly. I am thinking long and hard because I want to promise more than anything a good home. the finances would only be an issue if my relationship were to end, and my boyfriend just dropped everything where it's at. (Not taking care of bills in my name that are his)If he decided on this trip without me. hopefully it was just the panic attack looking at worst case scenarios. I would never just get. New pet and then take off for 6 months. This is the kind of even that I would need to decide one or the other this year. And if I did go next year I would have to make arrangements for a section hike only leaving for short periods of time because I cannot bank on an adult cat wanting to walk that much and honestly I don't know if it would be healthy, these are all things that I am trying to sort out first because like I said I want to bring a new cat into the best possible situation, also I have care credit if anything out of budget were to happen to any of my pets. Thank you again guys for listening. I will keep you all posted on my final decision and what's going on I know everything will find a way to work out


"Those who wander aren't always lost"

 

[Brigitte Cowell]

Sounds like a lot to figure out...but I am glad that you are thinking it through too! Sometimes just writing it all down like on this forum helps to sort out the issues in your mind...I know that for me, trying to explain something to someone helps me actually work it out also

Good luck!

 

[Bekki]

Exactly and I haven't really seen anybody the past few weeks. only time I see family is at the hospital and my boyfriend just see in passing. It's been rough I bottle it up. hopefully you guys don't think I'm a nut u got a little self conscious after all that


"Those who wander aren't always lost"

 

[NikkiA]

Hi Bekki,
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now.
Only you know if this is or is not the right time to bring a kitty into your home.
Sometimes, it goes seamlessly, and the kitty integrates perfectly into the new home in no time. Sometimes, it is a bit more challenging. If you look at some of the older threads, you will see some threads on integrating a SV into a household where it has taken more time and/or has not been seamless.
I'll be honest, when we brought Jarvis home, it went ok, but not great. He came home very young, at 8 weeks, and for many months he either (1) ran from me or (2) used his claws and teeth. Turned out he was terrified. He and Michael (my husband) hit it off right away, but it took many months for Jarvis to come around to me.
Keep this in mind. The kitty can be wonderful at the breeders, but still require many months to adjust to life with you.
I know there are people on this board who have brought home an older cat who has been comfortable right away, but there have also been people (like me) where a cat, young or older, takes time to adjust. Keep in mind that is possible, and if it happens, it doesn't make you a failure.
I will tell you it is extremely rewarding when that formerly untrusting kitty curls up in your lap purring for the first time, or flips over and asks for a belly rub for the first time. Just keep in mind that the cat will need you to be there for him, as well as being there for you, and in the early stages he may need you to be there more for him than he can be there for you.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

 

[Bekki]

thank you for your thoughts. I know that feeling and it is wonderful when they come around. I know it comes down to their personality and if they click with you right away. I'm just gunna hold off until I know for a fact it's the right time. And hopefully that should be soon,


"Those who wander aren't always lost"

 

[Patti]

Bekki, I'm going to be completely honest with you. First, if you are counting on a cat to help center you, then your energy is going in the wrong direction. I am a definite advocate in the power of the purr, but we need to find that center and balance within ourselves, not from an exterior source.

Second, if you are planning on going on an extended backpacking trip, whether it be this year or next year, I would not recommend getting a pet. It is just not fair to them to leave them behind for an extended period of time, or to drag them along and expect them to just trot along with you. I can tell that both are very important to you, but it sounds like you may need to do some prioritizing.

Finally, and this is strictly my opinion - if you are living in a situation where you are dependent upon someone else to help make ends meet you are setting yourself up for a fall. You can't count on anyone else like you can count on yourself. If your boyfriend decides to go on the trip and you stay behind, it might be time to look for a more reasonable, and independent living situation.