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Cat relationships, dominance, submissiveness and what is normal?

#12
Yesterday I managed to get a short video of HB ?dominating? WC... (uploaded and shared through google drive in link below) Unfortunately I haven't managed to get a picture of WC when he looks blissfully happy and falls asleep under HB, while HB does his thing. When I filmed this WC had just woke up and looks like he is feeling a bit squashed and for reasons he doesn't understand, ( and neither do I) the privacy of his bum is being violated by HB's face.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GzOaeQIywiRUqT752YHXwzmEhwmyN_aR/view?usp=sharing

But HB seems to be feeling a lot more confident.

They have such different personalities! WC is still a big soft Moma's boy of a kitten, even though he is close to a year and a half old. HB came to live with me when he was 4 and a 1/2 months old, but I have never felt he sees me as his Mom. He has always seemed like a sensitive old soul who is super independant, but who never really consented to be a human pet. (We are good friends and he trusts me and is affectionate on his own terms, but he doesn't seem to see me as a closely related species?) It will be interesting to see how our relationship changes as the cat proof fence I am building around our large rural yard nears completion, and he won't need to constantly try to entice me to go out with him. Hopefully it will be a big improvement for him! But I hope when he has access to our large yard WC doesn't change much, and this extra territory won't upset the dynamics of their relationship. WC is such a big, silly, rambunctious, soft, happy go lucky, perpetual kitten there is not a lot in his life that needs any improving, and the fenced area is more for HB.
 
#13
HB came to live with me when he was 4 and a 1/2 months old, but I have never felt he sees me as his Mom. He has always seemed like a sensitive old soul who is super independant, but who never really consented to be a human pet.
I love this description. It fits our girl Zazu to a ‘t’. She loves me on her own terms, for sure, and does let me touch her on occasion, more so because I need it than because she wants to be touched, I think. She came to us at 5 months old.
 
#15
HB was more comfortable with close physical contact when he was under 6 months. We became friends right away, as soon as he learned I would throw his mouse toy and play fetch. And the first couple months he was here he would sometimes snuggle with me. This has changed as he has gotten mature. With a couple exceptions he has never been melt into me cuddly like WC and all my previous cats. He perches like a bird and thoroughly enjoys my strokes and attention, but anything resembling a relaxed merging seems to trigger a claustrophobic response.. Sort of like the typical reaction of a human teenager to open displays of parental affection with all their friends watching. The thing that totally melted my heart and hooked me into being willing to do pretty much anything for such an aloof character, is there has been a couple times I have had a really rough day that made me cry, and both times HB spent the night under the covers, right up next to me, in a full body cuddle. Something he would never do, even briefly, since he was a kitten. He is amazingly intelligent, and very kind hearted, with an obvious capacity for compassion. He seems to understand almost everything I say.

I think most cats are genetically wired to do things on their own terms, and up until very recently cats evolved being free to come and go as they pleased, and could choose who they best liked to live with. But there is a subtle difference in HBs attitude, and I have wondered if it is his randomly inherited distant Serval genes that contribute to this? I have often seen his independent somewhat claustrophobic social tendencies described by people who live with cats that are higher generation. And I worry that if I was to die or be unable to care for him, it would be really really really hard on him. I lived with a super shy cat before, but this is more than just shy... WC is an F6, but not SBT like HB who is F 7. WC is the best melty mergy and creatively inventive cuddlier ever. So if it is a genetic thing, not all SVs inherit it!
 
#16
Sort of like the typical reaction of a human teenager to open displays of parental affection with all their friends watching.
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

You may have something with the Serval genetics thing, I don’t know much about genetics, but I know Zazu got a decent dose of her grandfathers sauce. She has the language (have never heard her actually ‘meow’), and the looks, and the personality. She has always been more of a cat’s cat, but even then, she only wants to be touched if she initiates the contact. Our newest enjoys flopping to the floor at my feet (so cute) for pets, which Zazu views with some confusion. I think she thinks we’ve brain-washed them. Some special kind of torture... :roflmao::roflmao: