Hello Fellow Savannites

[John Campbell]

I think she has definitely graduated to playing you for a sucker and has upped her training of you
to Level 2 Purrrrfectly typical of a diva.

Next time she paws you for a treat, touch her. She's ready.

Sometimes I wonder who is training who.... Most of the time, They are the teachers...

 

[Carykd7kau]

Sometimes I wonder who is training who.... Most of the time, They are the teachers...

I'm sure it IS a 2 way training program. But since she is so skittish, I don't want to push her to the point where her fear is further re-enforced. I will let her train me, as long as it brings her closer to me. I have begun to feel her emotions, and to sense her thoughts. When I can read these reliably all the time, then we will have the bond I am shooting for. I have a lot more than that with Kilifi because she feels love for me...and I for her. So we are totally open to the extra sensory connection that all animals have. Azidi is still guarded in that area. BUT she is opening to it.

 

[Patti]

I am patient. I am closely watching her responses. I can tell when I am pushing too hard. I will push but not beyond her comfort level. And Deborah, I do touch her .. quickly, but noticeably. When she runs way back under the bed, that is too much. When she just pulls back, then we are still ok. I do appreciate all the suggestions. But I think I am making acceptable progress. SO "If it ain't broke...don't fix it."

I totally agree Cary. Remember, she was skittish with me as well, much more willing to give me head butts than to let me pet her, so she is one who really prefers to be the instigator of the contact. The fact that you are able to touch her means you are making progress - she is clearly learning to trust you more each day.

 

[Carykd7kau]

This morning Azidi seems to have relaxed her prohibition on touch, to some degree. I was in playing with her with the wand toy, and when she was close to me, she would stop and smell my hand. The wand toy seems to be her favorite playtoy. Also, she would be less cautious and would get quite close when chasing the "birdie" So a few times, ( maybe 4 or 5 times ) I gently touched her. I was able to run my hand down her back and down her tail in a gentle pet once. I touched her feet a few times and tugged her tail once. Each time she pulled back, of course, but she did not run away. She just continued to play. She would also still smell my hand. I really think she is wanting to be closer to me, fighting the fear. But I need to let her dictate the level of contact she wants. Contrary to the STRONG inner feelings of wanting to love her and pet her, I will resist and continue the slow steady warming up process. Thinking next weekend will be the introduction time for her and Kilifi to meet and also Azidi's release from her captivity.

 

[SV Dad]

Cary, many years ago my wife and sons went to the shelter to pick out a cat for my youngest son. Came home with a six month old gray tabby. This cat like everybody but me. Avoided me, would have nothing to do with me. Would run away every time he saw me. But my son loved him. He stays in my book. It was weeks before he would even stay in the family room with me. I just waited it out. He would see the other cats come by for a head scritch. Over weeks he would come closer but not touch me. One day he came right up to me and got a scritch. I was now accepted. Over the years, it became clear, he favored me over all the others in the house. He soon started greeting me when I came home. Never a lap cat, but always the first to greet me or other family members and friends. He had this funny habit of leaping up onto my shoulder (clawing the hell out of my back! OUCH!) to perch on my shoulder if I was looking out the sliding glass door.
Early on we came to the conclusion that some adult male had seriously abused him as a kitten. Trust took a lot of time for him. But he came around eventually. He was my best pal for the adult years of his life. Only Mayhem has been as close a pal to me, like good old Grady.
You may find this kitten will eventually bond very strongly to you.

 

[Carykd7kau]

R.D. If my intuition serves me well, I feel that too. I feel a "connection" with her. Similar to the connection with Kilifi, but not like a dad-daughter as it is with Kiki, but like a good friend from a past life. I hope I am feeling correctly. It is hard to sense those feelings when the emotions run so high. And they are high with both my girls.

 

[Kristin]

R.D. If my intuition serves me well, I feel that too. I feel a "connection" with her. Similar to the connection with Kilifi, but not like a dad-daughter as it is with Kiki, but like a good friend from a past life. I hope I am feeling correctly. It is hard to sense those feelings when the emotions run so high. And they are high with both my girls.

I always say trust your gut...hasn't gotten me in much trouble yet

 

[Carykd7kau]

It has gotten me in trouble...with women. NEVER cats. OF course, I am MUCH older than you Kristin, so I've had a lot more opportunities to screw it up.

 

[WitchyWoman]

Also, she would be less cautious and would get quite close when chasing the "birdie" So a few times, ( maybe 4 or 5 times ) I gently touched her. I was able to run my hand down her back and down her tail in a gentle pet once. I touched her feet a few times and tugged her tail once. Each time she pulled back, of course, but she did not run away. She just continued to play. She would also still smell my hand. I really think she is wanting to be closer to me, fighting the fear.

This is the same pattern that my Maliik showed. It's a very strong indication that she is turning a major corner. You are handling things perfectly. I think you and Azidi will go farther faster than my situation. Maliik has instilled patience in me, of which I had little before he came to live with me. We are now in our 4th year together and just these past 4 months, he will actually sit or lay still when I approach him and let me pet him. He has learned to cope with my need to snuggle with him and I have learned to respect the very clear boundary he has drawn. That's the way love works.

 

[Carykd7kau]

I so agree with you Deborah. She is funny . When I leave the room after a play session, she has to investigate the place I was sitting. I wonder what she thinks of my scent. But I can see her wanting to be less afraid. And mostly she is getting there. Just every so often she feels the bump of fear and withdraws. And So I will continue the love. I KNOW it works.