My cat hates me

[Julie]

Okay I am finally at a computer and can reply.

I got a 4 month old Maine Coon mix from a shelter years ago. I knew when adopting her she was skittish. She spent her first 2 months hiding under a couch. I called the shelter feeling so bad a couple of times wondering if maybe rehoming her was a better option as, really how happy could she be in a couch. (I also had a 3 month old tabby I had just gotten as well). We'd come home to find the two of them together on the couch but as soon as she saw me or my ex she was under that couch before you could blink. Well a month passed and guess what she was sneaking her way to her food dish. Next month rubbing your legs on the way back to the couch, each month it was a bit better and better. Maybe 6 months later, she was the biggest lap cat in the world. I couldn't read a book without her being on my legs curled up. Turn on the xbox and both cats came running to cuddle on the couch. It took time, I later found out they had only had her maybe 2 weeks from when caught in the city to I adopted her which probably didn't help her. In the end the girl was afraid of kids, noise, ants, bugs, people (new), you name it. But she was the most cuddle bug sweet heart to me.

Now to my F3. We got him when he was 10 months (the second of the litter) we got one at 16 weeks, couldn't afford his brother at the time and then a few months later decided since he was still avalible we would get him. Well durring that time the breeder and her husband split up, she up and moved out of country leaving him with the cats (not by his choice), then came back and kicked him out of the house. We ended up with a cat who thinks women are the devil. You can tell with how he is. Even though i stayed home with him after we got back to our house, I spent the car ride with him he STILL chose to bond with my husband. It has been almost 2 years now since we got him and i'm happy that I can most days walk over and pet him without him running away, and i am still lucky if I can pet him without him flinching away like I am going to hurt him (I don't even try to pet in any way covering his eyes) For the first few months we also had to feed them apart as the new cat would snarl and bite at the other worried over his food. Does this make me love him less, nope. It just all makes me happier when I do get the random day (maybe every other month) where he decides to love his mom and curl up under a blanket with me or sleep at my feet during the night.

I wish you the best, it really is one of those things where all you can do is take the lead from the cat, do what makes them the most comfortable and be greatful for the little thing.

 

[Brigitte Cowell]

On another note...
I visited the animal shelter to take a look at a dog for my 3 boys to enjoy. I also seen all the cats . they seemed so loving and begging for attention to anyone that walked by. I so bad wanted to take them home! I know its not the right choice right now with whats going on with Isis, but I see how its so sad that these animals have no home. It was such a different attitude they all had from Isis. Im kinda jealous that she wont just give me the same attention. These cats see me as a stranger at the shelter and still wanted the attention. Im wondering if this is the difference between the savannah and domesticated cats?? anyhow, just thought I would share...

NOOOOO! This is NOT the difference between the Savannah and a domestic shorthair! This is the difference between cats that were well-socialized as kittens and one that probably was not! Try taking a feral cat off the streets and see how interactive it wants to be in your home to truly compare....

You've mentioned that when you picked up your Isis that the breeder got her from the kennel outside... this suggests that that is the environment that Isis was used to, and chances are if she was raised there she just doesn't understand humans enough to know that she might want to interact with them more. Her only experience might be the two times a day a person came in to feed and clean litterboxes.

Please don't make a judgment of our breed from one ill-socialized cat!

 

[Wyldthingz]

If you ask the shelter, they have a cage full of cats in the back that are completely feral and hide in the corner just as yours do. They just don't place them up for adoption. The reason I know that is that had lost a cat and the shelter people gave me a tour of the stray cats/found cat and cats up for adoption. The feral cats had their own place. I imagine that they are the first to "go."

What is sad is that cats bred by a breeder should not act like cats off the street. The answer is not to become a breeder but make sure this breeder doesn't repeat their mistake.

I knew a woman that bred a nice litter of border collie pups. She broke her back when they were born. Living out in the sticks, she had someone come feed while she was in the hospital but those pups were complete freaks by the time she should properly attend to them. I know that most of them ended up euthanized. One ended up with my friend by accident and she managed to rehab him to a functioning level. He was very sweet dog but always weird around the edges. He became a competent sheep dog with the right person. These things can be done.

There are lots of resources I am sure. My advice is to talk with people who do rescue and deal with rehabing feral pets. You will need a good support team with lots of ideas.

 

[jungle boy]

Th

Jungleboy, Thank you for your suggeations and prayers. Im gonna need it. I have gotten a lot info from all of you that I really appreciate and Boy do I have some work ahead but if she changes it will be worth it. And rewarding like you all say. I cant stand the idea that shes caged and that we cant enjoy eachothers presence. I will keep you all posted and any questions I will be back to ask! I am so glad I have joined this forum. Thank you again and any more suggestions from anyone...please post!
On another note...
I visited the animal shelter to take a look at a dog for my 3 boys to enjoy. I also seen all the cats . they seemed so loving and begging for attention to anyone that walked by. I so bad wanted to take them home! I know its not the right choice right now with whats going on with Isis, but I see how its so sad that these animals have no home. It was such a different attitude they all had from Isis. Im kinda jealous that she wont just give me the same attention. These cats see me as a stranger at the shelter and still wanted the attention. Im wondering if this is the difference between the savannah and domesticated cats?? anyhow, just thought I would share...

Your welcome! By the way, regarding your dog shopping, I think you're right, this might not be the time to add any more stress to Isis' life, lol! Also, I'm not sure if anyone responded to this but perhaps there may be another way other than "dumping" her out of the carrier to get her out. That might be freaking her out a little too. Hang in there...

 

[Patti]

I agree with Kelly that growling should not necessarily be viewed as aggression - again, watch the ear placement and the body language. Savannahs make a lot of 'interesting' sounds that you won't usually hear from other cats. As for the bathroom floor, I think you could cover the rug with a tarp (roll it up the walls a bit, e.g., to cover the splash guard) then purchase a cheap piece of vinyl to cover it during this period of transition. That way, when/if she stops spraying and is socialized to a point where you feel comfortable giving her the run of the home you can easily pull up the temporary flooring and have your nice carpet back.

 

[jungle boy]

I agree with Kelly that growling should not necessarily be viewed as aggression - again, watch the ear placement and the body language. Savannahs make a lot of 'interesting' sounds that you won't usually hear from other cats. As for the bathroom floor, I think you could cover the rug with a tarp (roll it up the walls a bit, e.g., to cover the splash guard) then purchase a cheap piece of vinyl to cover it during this period of transition. That way, when/if she stops spraying and is socialized to a point where you feel comfortable giving her the run of the home you can easily pull up the temporary flooring and have your nice carpet back.

GREAT IDEA!

 

[Laura W]

Except for the spraying, you could have my cat when he came with us! He is a F2 and was 2 1/2 yrs old when he came to live with us. I was told he had inappropriate elimination issues. This has never been a factor since he's been in our home. When he came to live with us he acted exactly like your cat except we couldn't even touch him and he would bite and scratch and didn't play.

What we did was give him his own room with everything he could want, and I slept in the room with him for several weeks off and on. I spent time with him every night just sitting there and ignoring him. There was nothing in the room for him to hide in but his crate and he liked that crate, he felt safe.

At some point I quit free feeding and he was fed by me at night before bed so he would hopefully sleep through the night (He kept us up every night yowling.) I tried everything I could get as a treat to get him to come to me and he wouldn't try anything. Finally, canned white chicken breast was what he decided he liked. I would toss small pieces to him and over the course of about 6 weeks or so, he would come closer, still no touching allowed. At this point, he had been with us 4 1/2 mths. and was still incontinent of bowel and bladder when approached, simply out of fear. He had also bit me pretty bad a couple of times.

The home he had been in before had a Bengal that was his best friend. I had always wanted a Bengal also, so I brought home this tiny kitten and slowly introduced them over the course of about a mth. She is now his best friend and he watched every interaction she had with us. Slowky, he decided maybe he wanted attention too.

Fast forward to now. Echo has been with us 9 mths. Now, he takes chicken from my fingers, growls if Dolos, the Bengal, or the dogs are present, but he never bites or swats at me. If he nips and shows any aggression, he gets no more chicken for about 15-30 seconds or so and his ears have to be upright before he can have more. I can also see in his eyes when his frame of mind has changed and he's in a better place. He has never let "the man" touch him, but if I put me hand out to him, he will sniff it and often rub his head against my hand which gives me permission to pet and scratch him. This has only happened in the last 6 wks or so.

We have a routine now. Every morning, the dogs are put out and we spend some quality time together, even if it's just 15 mins before I go to work, where he and Dolos get chicken and he is required to take it from my fingers nicely. He will follow me around the house and talk to me until he gets his chicken. When I get home, I always call him and he responds and I let him sniff my hand. Some days I get to pet and scratch and others I don't. More often then not, he wants to be touched now. It's not unusual for him to come sit by me when we eat and ask for something or to walk up to me and sniff me if I'm relaxing on the couch.

He still has his own room with a baby gate up, mainly to keep the dogs out of the litter box, but he spends most of his time out with us when we are home. He walks around like he owns the place and responds regardless of which one of us speak to him. He often comes up to me if I put my hand out to him. He knows if anyone other than us is in the house and will not come out of hiding. Everything has to be on his terms, and I'm fine with that. I know with love and patience, he will become more confident and over time become more secure. I don't care if he's ever a lap kitty. Just him being here gives me so much joy, and I know we saved him from being put down.

It's a time and patience thing and allowing them to decide when they want to take the next step. You rush forward with anything she isn't ready for, you won't make progress and will cause more fear issues. She has to build trust.

This forum has been there for me this entire process. You are lucky to have found it! The people here really do want to help those of us with cats that need some extra love and understanding. They kept me going during the couple times I thought "What in the heck did I get myself into?" Needless to say, I love this cat as much as I love my children and they have accused me of loving him more! Please don't give up on your girl just yet.

 

[jungle boy]

WOW! What an encouraging and amazing success story Laura W. I'm sure that this will be so incredibly helpful to Isis and her mom! What a great display of patience, commitment and love!

 

[Laura W]

WOW! What an encouraging and amazing success story Laura W. I'm sure that this will be so incredibly helpful to Isis and her mom! What a great display of patience, commitment and love!

Thank you! We continue to work on it but, we would have never made it this far without the advise and encouragement of those here.

 

[Emily Paschke]

How did everything turn out? I hope well!!