Wow...has it been 10 days already?
The good news is that all cats are completely destressed courtesy of the separation. Lotto is his old self, Bucky is happy, and Tootie is content. We have been trying to give Lotto and Tootie time in the rest of the house, while shutting Bucky in a back guestroom for a couple of hours - just so everyone has time in the main house. Lotto likes to come out and roam for about 10 minutes, and then goes into the bedroom again. Tootie pretty much just chooses to stay in the bedroom. If Lotto opens the bedroom door and wants to come into the house when Bucky is around, we let him do it of his own accord. Things had kind of settled into a routine - and encounters between Bucky and Lotto varied from Bucky following Lotto around from behind, to the usual chase and jump on Lotto's back (with me hobbling around on crutches with a posterboard to put between them when I can catch them LOL)
I have been updating Marilyn as we go - she feels we are making progress with the destressing. Of course, my husband and I are anxious to have our house back (post surgical care is a bit difficult when trying to keep cats out of the convalescing room
Three nights ago, in the middle of the night, Lotto apparently saw an animal outside out bedroom window (likely a fox or coyote - maybe a deer) and got VERY upset. He was walking back and forth over the bed, and trying to open the bedroom door to get in the main house. I was half asleep and, not knowing what was happening, reached out to rub him, and he nipped me. Nothing hard or painful - just letting me know he was upset. He managed to get the bedroom door open, so I jumped up, hobbled out and grabbed the posterboard, as I knew Bucky would be in the main house. Lotto ran around the house trying to figure out how to get outside, and hissed at Bucky the entire time (which might have been a good thing??? who knows). Anyhow, he continued to be agitated for another day and a half, but is back to normal now.
Ever since that night, Lotto has no interest in coming out of the bedroom when Bucky is around. If he comes out, he will turn right back around and go back into the bedroom. He *will* come out still when Bucky is in the back guest room.
Sometimes it feels to me as if we are backsliding. I agree we've made progress with the destressing, and that is a GOOD thing. But now that I'm able to put some weight on my leg again, my husband has gone back to having me feed the cats, clicker train, etc. The one good aspect is that while I was down, he and Bucky formed a stronger relationship. That being said, it apparently did not affect Bucky's behavior with Lotto.
I have been keeping their breeder in the loop, as she has been very helpful and understanding. She is very reputable, and I asked what she would do in this situation. She felt that it might not be a bad idea, if things didn't improve in the next week or so, to consider having Lotto and Bucky live together in a room for a week or so. She said that is what she does sometimes with her 'catty intact females'. She said that Bucky would be the first cat (without a medical condition) she had that didn't at least work things out with the other cats in a household. She also feels that if Bucky were going to mortally wound Lotto, there would have been injuries before when they were together. She thinks that Lotto just needs to get fed up enough to give him a good whacking.
She suggested giving them a couple of hiding places and using a babycam in case things do get too rough...but to minimize human contact during that time.
I'm somewhat torn as to what to do. I keep forgetting to call the vet about Prozac (post-anesthesia brain)....but we now have a 10ft high homebuilt catwalk with stairs, 5 cat towers, 6 scratching posts (in addition to the cat tower sisal legs) 4 litterboxes (2 in bedroom, 2 in main house), every possible puzzle toy, ball chasing track toy, chicken broth ice cubes, water pools, and ez faucet, mice, wand toys, boxes, paper, tunnels, stuffed animals, balls etc. Bucky still gets bored....Lotto won't stay in the main house long enough to play with much or explore.
Part of me wants to try what the breeder suggested. But then again, I want to try Marilyn's way also - but it seems a bit difficult with my husband not really holding up his end of it.
Anyhow, that's our update. The surgery went well, but I'll have to go back for a partial knee replacement (at 39 year old

), as I have no cartilage or meniscus left. Alas, I feel fortunate that is an option as opposed to a total knee.
Thanks, everyone for listening. Sometimes it helps to just get it all out
L