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One stressed mommy

Patti

Admin
Staff member
I think it's very positive that Marilyn feels she can help, even if it takes a lot of work things are not hopeless which means they can improves. Don't get discouraged, focus on what you can accomplish!

Sorry about the knee surgery, hopefully it will go smoothly and uneventfully!
 

NikkiA

Site Supporter
Sending good thoughts your way for you and Bucky.

Btw at 22 my ortho told me if I kept rowing I would be in wheelchair by 25. . . No surgery to date, and I ran in my 2d 10 mile run last year and finished in the top 10%, still walking just fine thank you :)
 

admin

Paige
Staff member
Hope all goes ok with Marilyn... Keep the faith! It will all work out and you have a lot of support here
 

Carykd7kau

Reincarnated cat Moderator
Nikki. You are just one super girl.

L. Just keep workin with Bucky. ANYTHING is possible if we but try.. ( Nikki is example. )
 

l.i.t

Site Supporter
Thanks so much, you guys...

Basically, Marilyn said that Bucky is going through 'social adjustment' early... And that some of his behavior is dominant. But also that he essentially has an aggression issue, as once he has established dominance, he continues to try to hurt the other cats.

So to keep Lotto and Tootie safe, as well as reduce their anxiety, we will be keeping them in our bedroom (a Bucky free zone), and keeping Bucky in the living room. In addition to things like adding more litter boxes and vertical spaces (we have a lot, but it apparently isn't enough)... She wants my husband to become more 'involved' with Bucky so as to take some of the jealousy away (I am the main interaction with the cats, so he may be jealous when I am involved with any of the other cats). She also wants us to clicker train the cats - Bucky may take well to it (she told us how to start with him) - Toot will do well b/c she is totally food motivated and has excellent pavlovian learning skills... Even if she is mentally challenged - Lotto, I'm not sure about. He is not at all food or play motivated... So we'll see. He's pretty obedient on his own, though. She also suggested Prozac, but we'll save that for later.

We are going to make a full fledged effort here. The alternative is to rehome. We did show the videos to the breeder, and she said she agrees that Bucky is not playing well, and that Lotto is trying to 'tolerate' it and keep things more play oriented...but Bucky is taking it too far - after establishing dominance by jumping on Lotto's back and biting (with Lotto cowering), Bucky continues to kick at Lotto with claws fully extended, and the breeder does not understand why. But that the behavior was really worrisome.

Thanks for all the help and support. I really wish things were different. But we are going to try everything.

L
 

WitchyWoman

Admin
Staff member
I understand how difficult this is. Kudos to you for not giving up and trying everything you can to establish peaceful coexistence among the fur kids. I fervently hope that the work you are doing with Bucky makes a difference and gives you the outcome you all need. Keeping Prozac as an option is good. Bucky's behavior may be motivated by chemical/hormonal imbalances that can only be fixed through finding an appropriate drug. In that event, the clicker training will help redirect behavior but will not completely solve the problem.

Keeping all of you in my thoughts....
 

admin

Paige
Staff member
Agree with everything Deb said! Please keep us updated and let us know if we can help! We are always here to support and help you!
 

Chris Elliott

Savannah Super Cat
I understand how daunting all this sounds. Add to that the rumor that cats aren't trainable.

Cats are trainable, and adaptable, with time and consistent work. I've seen consistent improvement between Ziggy and Oni, and it's taken 10 months of constant monitoring, redirection, and encouragement. I think my inconsistent clicker training helped, and could have helped more.

Best wishes to all of you. Thanks for giving it your best.
 

l.i.t

Site Supporter
Thanks to all of you for the support. And thanks, Chris, for reassuring me it CAN get better! A little hope goes a long way.

We are on day 4 of separation. Lotto is nearly back to his old self. He does have fleeting moments of anxiety, but he's exploring, interacting, purring, and even playing with me more. His only irritation is being shut out of the rest of the house for the majority of the time. I go in there at least 5 or 6 times a day, and we try to put Bucky in a guest room once a day for a couple of hours so the other cats can wander around the house - but Lotto is smart enough to know and realize that his house has been 'taken' from him. He keeps going to the two different doors that lead to the living room and trying to open them. We have a 'secure fortress' set up with a montage bungee cords and hand weights keeping the doors shut LOL That being said, the other two cats are safe, and are even getting along with each other again.

Bucky is even a new cat - he's more friendly, lovey, vocal o_O, and more relaxed. He gets very upset when I go in the other room with the other cats, though - he will sit at the door and cry cry cry. My husband is trying to get more involved with him, and has been doing a decent job of playing. But it's so amazing the kind of change he's gone through just from being separated. He shows NO signs of aggression whatsoever.

We've added a lot of the things Marilyn suggested....our only issue seems to be with the litter boxes. We have 2 litter robots, and have loved them for about 5 or 6 years now without any issues - even with Bucky. Even though Lotto is a little longer than the box, he can put his head and front paws out of the box and be perfectly comfortable. But Marilyn said she does not like litter robots, and that we needed to change to different litter boxes. So I 'created' a litter box setup made of the clear tote bins.....My problem is that Lotto still wants to go in the litter robot, and just wants to 'play' in the litter in the new litter box. :p Of course, it is a minor issue, and I can always leave one litter robot in the house while the others use the bins.

Question for you guys....it occurred to me that with them being separated, that reintroduction could go either way. For instance, they could figure they have adequate resources, and live in peace. OR, Bucky could get used to having most of the house to himself, and us when we are working in the living room, and reintroductions might go the opposite way with him being more territorial.

Has anyone had a new kitty not work out - where they just needed to be an only cat? I worry about Bucky - I have no reason to think this won't work, but something in my gut is nervous that he seems to be enjoying being separated so much.

Or perhaps I am just paranoid.....regardless, everyone seems a little more happy at least....and for that, I am grateful!

L
 
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